A Father's Love: One of Life's Best Gifts

Dear My Main Man,

I write to you on this very special day because out of every helping hand, I have received in this world, yours is the one with the most impact. You somehow receive the least amount of credit and praise for the things you do daily. You’ve always stood back and let me shine or run in the rain knowing I tend to get caught up in a storm. You’re always stepping in when I call for you, whether it’s directly or indirectly, knowing you can’t be more than a few feet away ready to comfort me in your arms as you have been doing for years. It’s time that the spotlight radiates on who you are and the love that you have shown me.

I have written this letter in my head and on paper for almost 3 years now since I legally became an adult. Sometimes angry and spiteful, but most times with unconditional love and appreciation. As time went on it became more of a gratitude and appreciation letter. Either way, you were and still are a gift that keeps on giving.

Do you know what fills me up with love and immense joy? It is seeing your face when I walk into any room at any given time or when I hug you every day. I don’t even mean in a celebrity status-type of appreciation and love, because that would be demeaning. No, it is much deeper than that. It is the way your whole face lights up when you see my smile and your innocent and proud reaction to me slowly achieving my goals. I’ve seen it many times even when you’re disappointed or upset at me where you don’t even know what to do. Did you ever imagine a tiny 5’2” woman having that much power over your heart that you handed over almost 22 years ago?

In our culture, men don’t often wish and pray to have a daughter come into their lives, but you prayed for me. When your prayers were listened to, there was no man on this planet as happy and thankful as you. Most daughters are the replica of their mother, but I think I was a different package due to your prayers. Almost everyone, including mom, say that I am the female version of you with all the good and bad. Growing up I don’t even think you expressed love towards my mom the way you loved me. Mom always says I could get you to jump off of a building if I wanted you to and make it seem like a good idea. She even says that she may be your entire heart, but I am your heartbeat. It’s hard to accept anything less from a man when you have treated me as if I’m an ethereal creature from heaven. Even on birthdays where you would leave to work early morning, I remember waking up with a big hug, the best birthday gifts and something priceless: your love-filled eyes.

Thank you for helping me fall in love with being alive. Helping me pick clothes and read books and understand that life is so much more than education, career and bad days. Thank you for coming home from work and spending quality time with me no matter how stressed you were or how bad your day may have been. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of family. Thank you for teaching me to embrace my uniqueness. Thank you for being patient as I questioned cultural beliefs, broke and still breaking cultural barriers. Thank you for telling me that we are in Canada, a new generation where there is no difference between men and women, and no one should ever tell me otherwise. I know it’s hard to have a crazy, stubborn, free-spirited and curious daughter. I know that you are still learning but thank you for accepting that. I know I’ve put you through hell and all you do is sigh when I’m up to my next adventure but thank you for always loving me the same no matter what.

Fathers teach their daughters many lessons about what it means to truly love and experience this life we are given. One of the most critical moments is the one where you portrayed to my young eyes beaming up at you the notion of how I should be treated and how to experience life. You are not perfect, but even with the bad you have taught me lessons and moulded me. Dependable and trustworthy father figures are a scarcity today so for those of us blessed enough to be graced, we feel the strength of their presence. I am amongst the blessed and I am grateful for it every day. You watched me get bullied by people I considered my own and the many times I’ve fallen. You not only stood up for me and by me, but you also told me to get up and move on with life because life doesn’t wait for us. These experiences were engraved into my memory and transferred into the heart as I grow into the young woman I am today. We, as daughters, learn to love the way we were loved by you. You hold so much more power than you imagined as a man in his early twenties holding a small baby girl for the first time looking up with big hopeful brown eyes. I have high expectations because that’s where you set the bar and anything lower than that I have come to not accept.

You are the first man I have ever loved. You are an example of love from a male figure. You held me, spent quality time with me, supported me and let me grow. You gave me all I could have ever needed because you gave me a father’s unconditional love. By giving me or not giving me certain things, you have taught me what love is and also what it isn’t. You showed me that it’s important to be strong, humble, classy and taught me to love myself enough to reach for any star I lay my eyes on.

One day you’ll watch me get married to another man, chosen in the image of how you taught and want me to be loved. When I let go of your arm I hope you know that my heart is moulded in the shape you have loved me. I hope you know that I’m never really letting go because daughters are always their father’s princesses no matter what. That never changes. For you, I will always be your babu. Thank you for holding my hand as I took my first steps as I plan to hold yours when you need my help to walk. I know that in my heart there is no love like the first love, and a part of me will always belong to you whether it is because of the blood we share or the piece of your heart that you gave me almost 22 years ago.

Forever,

Your Little Babu